Posted on Leave a comment

How to Make Big Decisions

The simplest way to make big decisions is to decide for _________.

Making a choice in order to avoid, defer, escape [except danger, of course!] typically is not the right move.

So, if you’re considering a job change, is it because you really want the other job or because you dislike something about your current job?  The former is more likely to be worthwhile, whereas the latter is more likely to involve some degree of regret.

Similarly with relationships, if you are considering a choice based on want [i.e., I want to be with this person], you are more likely to feel contented with the decision in the long-term.  If you choose based on not-want [i.e., I do not want to be alone], you are more likely to be discontented in the long run.

This has long been my locus for decision-making, but I was reminded of it recently, watching Help Desk on OWN.  In an episode taped right here in Portland, Oregon, Gary Zukav is giving advice to someone who is deciding between accepting a dream job overseas and staying put to continue a relationship with a woman he’s been seeing for a year.  Ultimately, Gary suggests always choosing for love and not out of fear.  At the end of the episode, he leads those gathered in an exercise designed to help us always sort between feelings that are generated out of love vs. thMyPaintingose generated out of fear so that we might always select for love.

Here’s to loving yourself, your mate, your family, your life, your …

Posted on 1 Comment

21 Days of Fantastic: Day 19, Know

Life can feel incredibly confusing at times, with choices abounding–these days possibly more than ever before in history.  Did you know that frequency of decision-making is associated with willpower fatigue?  That blew my mind.  No wonder by the end of the day we indulge–skip a workout, have a drink, grab some junk food.

I really enjoy a spontaneous schedule, but it is only enjoyable if we are going with the flow.  Peace comes from within!

It is one of the reasons to prioritize–it is like putting choices through a filter.

It also is one of the reasons to develop your intuition–decision-making becomes a snap.

But then you still are left to trust.

Friends have long wondered how I could make decisions so confidently–I figured it was because after I analyzed the choices, I made the best decision I could.  But one too many disappointments, one too many traumatic experiences finally left me in a state of fear.  I was questioned every decision and felt like I was constantly going in circles.  I was a mess!  It wasn’t just a spiral, it was a downward spiral!

So how did I climb my way out of that?

I made an appointment with my homeopath first.  The remedy he recommended for me pulled me out of a state of crisis.

I reduced external inputs of stress and fear [e.g. news, entertainment].

Then I made an appointment with an energy therapist.

I also started working with angels.  A lot.

Then something miraculous happened:  I began to see signs.  Lots of signs!  Signs that I was on the right path.  Signs that the choices I had made were indeed successful, even if the outcomes were not the ones I’d hoped or expected.

I had prayed frequently and fervently for that sense of knowing that I was on the right path, but until I was in [enough of] a state of calm and peace inside, I couldn’t recognize any signs on the outside.

So if you feel drained at the end of the day from all of the decisions you need to make, reduce the ones that you can, work on clearing your obstacles of fear, and develop your inner sense of knowing.


  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.