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Homeopathy for Brain Injuries

Brain injuries seem to be treated, even by many homeopaths, as untreatable and certainly incurable.  I am here to provide some hope, some ideas, some means.


The first, best means to address a brain injury homeopathically is to give Arnica immediately afterwards.  If you have kids who play games like soccer, football, hockey, consider giving a dose or two of Arnica 6c or 30c after games involving headers, tackles, and any other hard contact involving the head.  Arnica 6c and 30c typically are readily available at any health food store like Whole Foods, and it deserves a place in every backpack, briefcase, wallet, glove compartment…  Even for ‘small’ injuries, this can help the vital force address the injury to prevent the cumulative effect.

If the injury is significant, the potency should be higher, such as Arnica 200c or 1M [also called MK or 1000c].  That’s why I carry Arnica 200c on my key fob and 1M in my purse.  If a trip to the Emergency Room is necessary, I would take [or give] a higher potency Arnica en route.

I prefer to get the higher potencies of Arnica either in granules or liquid because that makes it eminently easier to dose in an emergency situation.

Astoundingly, after the birth of my daughter, when she was not breathing, the midwives gave me Arnica but never gave it to her!  Typically, a nursing mother would be considered able to pass minute portions of the remedy on to the child, I surely wish they had given her a dose too.  With the immense fright and trauma surrounding the birth, we all would have benefitted from a dose of Aconite 200c as well [shock, fright].  Perhaps if I’d been given that, I wouldn’t have left my body when they took my baby away.

Birth Injuries

The most common homeopathic remedy for a baby who is not breathing at birth [blue babies] is Laurocerasus.  I also wish my daughter had received that at birth.  In fact, our naturopath did bring it to the hospital eventually, but the doctors there did not understand homeopathy and thought it was an herbal preparation, which they determined to be dangerous.

We did eventually bring a Cranial Osteopath to the hospital, and she made a significant difference for our daughter while she was in the NICU.  I also have a friend whose daughter had a significant brain injury due to oxygen deprivation before birth, and she had to call around but the 17th craniosacral practitioner she called did agree to treat her daughter. I went on to do a couple of years of cranial osteopathic manipulation [COM], craniosacral therapy [CST], etc., and though we did not see any significant lasting forward momentum from it, I have since realized how much it helped with the shape of her cranium, palate, airway, etc.  These are significant benefits that we simply did not notice because we were looking at the more typical milestones like sitting independently, talking, walking, etc.


So, say you did not use homeopathy to nip the injury in the bud … Then what do you do?

Homeopathy can be of significant help even if you do not use it immediately after the injury.  Here are a few stories of friends that I have helped with homeopathy years after a brain injury …

Absence Seizures, Drowning:  A friend of mine contacted me for help with her son, who was having absence seizures.  She practiced Chinese Medicine but had not been able to help him.  She had taken him to neurologist after neurologist, and their prescriptions also had failed to help her son.  The remedy I suggested was Nat Sulph 6c.  Because I work intuitively, I often can determine the cause of a problem by intuiting the remedy.  That was true in this case, where I inquired as to whether her son had incurred a brain injury or head trauma, because Nat Sulph is known for seizures and other lasting effects of / from brain injuries.

Indeed, her son had drowned and been revived two years prior.  Though she had mentioned that event repeatedly to the neurologists, each one had told her that the near-drowning had no bearing on the absence seizures.

The Nat Sulph made significant improvements in her son’s life.  The absence seizures were significantly shorter when they did occur, and his mood improved dramatically–he was back to his old self, she said.  This is a common report with homeopathic recovery from trauma and music to my ears, because in essence this is what homeopathy is all about for me–bringing us closer to who we really are.  Lifting and unlocking.

So that you understand the process of recovery, the Nat Sulph 6c was probably not the ideal potency but was all that she had available at her local store and ordering from a homeopathic pharmacy was outside her ‘doable’ range at that time.  So, she had to give him the 6c 3-4 times a day.  When she eventually moved up to 30c, the dosing was also a little bit nuanced and more like every 1.5 days, which was tricky as you can imagine!

This is an example of how progress can be made even with a non-ideal potency but that it requires a little bit more effort.  In longer-term recoveries, my suggestion in such situations would be to use what you have available while ordering a more ideal potency from a homeopathic pharmacy.  Or learn how to do energetic dosing, which can be done anytime anywhere that you can get quiet time–this is its pro and its con.  Sometimes taking the pillule is much easier!

Oxygen Deprivation at Birth:  My daughter was born just 3 weeks after her friend, the one I mentioned when discussing CST above.  Her friend’s brain injury was far more significant than our daughter’s–our daughter’s main injury actually came from a severe overdose of a CNS-suppressant that she actually did not need [it was for seizures, which she was not having and the overdose was so significant that it nearly killed her].

Let me make my long stories short.  I am very well aware that the efforts my friend and I have made for our daughters has made a significant difference in their lives.  It is true that they are not “cured” but it is also true that they have far exceeded any expectations that conventional medicine had for them.  My friend’s daughter is almost 10 years old and still doing new things but was given a 3-year life expectancy.

When my daughter was in the hospital, I was told that she would require a permanent G-tube and never be able to eat via her mouth because she had no gag reflex while she was recovering from the overdose, but she left the hospital nursing, which is the most complicated way for a baby to eat.  When she was 10 months old, our PT told us that we should get a gigantic pediatric wheelchair that would totally tuck her in because we would need a “feeding system.”  She also told me to stop carrying her and stop walking with her [my daughter could walk holding our hands].  Well, we never have had a wheelchair and we never will [and that was our last appointment with that PT too].  We did  use strollers on occasion and now my daughter has a walker.

So on a macro level, you can see how homeopathy, nutrition, energy work, craniosacral work, conductive education, and a more hands-on expectant approach has made a significant impact on our children.  Here are some details on homeopathy specifically [someday we hope to write a book together detailing all of it for other parents who want more for their children than what conventional medicine offers]…

Once she left the hospital, my daughter never did take another pharmaceutical excepting a single dose of a reflux medication.  She was 1 y.o. when she started constitutional homeopathic treatment.    Her first homeopathic remedy was made from Ether.  She went from being a passive participant in life to being actively engaged and participating in play, etc.  When she was 3 y.o., she took a remedy made from the CNS suppressant with which she was overdosed.  She rolled-over by herself for the first time the next day, began sleeping through the night [vs. the waking every 5-20 minutes we had endured the previous 3 years], was relieved of chronic intractable constipation, was able to sit independently, and began walking [with help] sua sponte.  When she was 5 y.o., a homeopathic remedy got her crawling–being able to move herself was a significant change for her.  She also began sitting on her knees because that made sitting-crawling easier, but it had the negative side effect of making it easier for her to walk tip-toed and inward than flat- and straight-footed.  We addressed that with both constitutional and topical remedies, and our OT remarked that she usually sees that issue getting worse, not better!  The conventional treatment we were offered, by the way, involved Botox treatments and slicing the tendons then casting the foot/leg in a 90-degree angle.  Homeopathy also has helped her emotionally–to move past separation anxiety, for instance.  And it has helped in subtle ways, with her ability to use her body ever improving.

My friend used homeopathy for her daughter a little bit with the help of the craniosacral therapist in her daughter’s early years.  Mostly she used Conductive Education.  Her daughter was perhaps 7 or 8 years old when she mentioned to me that her daughter was chronically congested and tended to get sick come Fall.  Sometimes, Spirit just hands me a remedy on-the-spot, and that’s what happened then.  Baryta Carb popped into my head.  She started her daughter on Baryta Carb 30c, about one dose per month.  Here’s some of what she noticed from the remedy:  Significantly fewer spasms, ability to sleep longer and with about half the amount of sleep medication at night, more easily contented [able to stay upstairs by herself, for instance], more engagement at school, willingness to eat at school.  She also started a birth trauma resonance, which gave her daughter the ability to fall asleep quickly [rather than the typical hours it took] as well as significantly improved bowel movements and the ability to move her hands in new ways.

So ….

In my experience, homeopathic treatment of the individual can prevent, manage, relieve, and even progressively cure injuries to the brain.  In situations where few conventional options are available, it is especially wonderful to have choices.  Homeopathy can reduce our reliance on pharmaceuticals while improving our overall state because homeopathy treats the individual, and in and of itself that makes it worthwhile to me.  When you add to that the joy with which healing occurs, the improvements made that are otherwise considered impossible and implausible, or the gains made at a speed that astounds, as well as the unlocking of a person’s joy and personality, I surely hope that if you or someone you know suffers from a brain injury, you will consider homeopathy as one option for healing.


  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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Sensitive People

Being sensitive, like most traits, is both a forte and a challenge.  For most of my life, I was aware only of the downside:  Constantly being accused of overreacting!  But take heart if you are sensitive, there is an up side — it is sensitivity that makes it easier for us to attune to other energies, higher energies.  Angels, loved ones who have crossed over, even energies in a room, people we love who are far away from us.  Intuition, healing capabilities.  All easier for those who are sensitive.

So, how do you enjoy and enhance the benefits of being sensitive while also managing the challenges?  Here’s what I do, like to do, or think I should do [and if you have sensitive kids, this is especially important to do for them and teach them to do for themselves]:

Ground and Protect:  Probably the number one thing we can do as and for sensitive people is to ground and protect.  When you are visualizing God’s protective light, visualize it as thick and impenetrable.  When you visualize the shield, send it as far out as you can–I send it beyond Earth’s atmosphere–and make it super strong.

If you have sensitive children in your family, make sure you do this for your entire family, morning and night.  Your sensitive kids easily pick up on your feelings, so making sure that your feelings are as yours as possible and as clear as possible is incredibly helpful.  I’ve seen older kids wean and begin sleeping by themselves just from the mom grounding and protecting herself!

You might also consider a variety of grounding essential oils.  Clary sage, lavender, frankincense, sandalwood, vetiver are a few … I use sandalwood, roman chamomile, and vetiver in the bath for a serious destressing.  One of my sensitive kids knows to ask for a hot bath with 2 cups of epsom salts and that essential oil combo when he comes home feeling sick and he knows that it is from stress [experienced to him as distress].  The other great thing about it is that it is gender-neutral in its fragrance!  A drop of lavender on the crown of the head does wonders to enhance calm sleep.  [Many homeopaths believe that essential oils interfere with the action of homeopathic remedies.  I personally have not experienced that, but it is something of which you should be aware if you are undergoing constitutional homeopathic treatment.]

I’m a huge fan of stones, and there are several that are very good for grounding.  Black onyx [grounding] is a favorite, and it is relatively inexpensive, as is clear crystal quartz [clears negative energies].   [I linked there to Gemisphere, which has high quality gems strung on strong silk thread that is knotted between the spheres.  They have sales every week–20% off a particular stone–and recently started having big sales like 40% off everything in-stock.  So if it is out of your reach, you can wait for a sale.  However, I also have found good gemstones on other sites, like Etsy.  It is harder to find them strung on silk, and you should make sure that you clear them first.  However, if you make your own jewelry, Etsy can be a source for the stones.  I also like Starlight for gemstones, though they offer pendants and bracelets more than strands.]

When my daughter was young, she went through major separation anxiety in the car.  My husband had bought the black onyx from Gemisphere, and one day I was inspired to put it over the front seat headrest so that it dangled in front of my daughter in the back seat.  It was the first time she sat contentedly in the back seat while I was finally able to feel like a grown-up and get a tiny bit of adult time with my husband, moving to the front seat!  Even from a few feet away, it was grounding enough to help her.

There are other possibilities, too, like Mother of Pearl and amber, both of which I’ve seen sold in child-sized knotted necklaces.

Be Aware of Your Feelings:  If you have sensitive people living with you, it is really important to stay clear on your feelings.  Stuffing your feelings eventually results in an unpleasant release:  Either your children will push you until you let them out [usually onto the children, even though that’s not where they belong!], your body will end up manifesting the emotion as a symptom to get your attention, or you will get triggered by something small and release the full build-up of emotions [and probably inappropriately].

If you are looking at homeopathy in a family of sensitive people, I think it really helps to treat everyone in the family–pets included.  Sensitive people and sensitive pets often absorb on behalf of others in the family [hence the importance of shielding!].  This will help you manage your own stress so that your children [or other family members] don’t have to help you do so.  This can reduce physical and emotional symptoms–clinginess, acting out, stomach symptoms, nervous tics …

Most of the time, it comes down to this:  Don’t say “yes” when you really want to say “no”!

Clear Your House:  It is incredibly helpful to keep the energy [or energies] in your house cleared.  I try to clear and protect the bedrooms before sleep and the main living area in the morning.  You can use essential oils, herbal sprays, incense.  Burn palo santo wood, resins, dried herbs [from your garden!], sage [smudge] or candles.  Keep a couple of windows open just a smidge.


I would be so grateful to hear what works for you!



  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 21, Gifts

Imagine how it would feel if God presented you with a gift.  All aglow in His pure love, it would feel so special to receive from Him.

Really special.  Oh, my.

It’s a mini birthday season in my family, so there is a little talk about gifts.  We also have been talking a lot about Our Gifts, the special talents we each have and those that we share.  And then there’s also been talk about being responsible to care for our belongings like we would be for someone else’s.

It all got me thinking about the sacred gifts that God gives us.  Even our bodies are sacred gifts directly from God.  Imagine God handing it to you as a sacred gift.  I don’t know about you, but that resonated deeply with me.  How would I treat a sacred gift from God?  Would I dump on it and treat it as replaceable?  I most certainly would not!  I would hold it precious, nurture it, treat it as special.

So the next time we ate out, I suggested we not indulge in special drinks.  And that felt good, to respect this sacred gift we received directly from God.

I hope that my respect grows and deepens, until I can see and feel deeply that every breath, every moment truly is a gift from above.


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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 20, Pockets

Although pockets aren’t a must-have on clothing for me, I use them a lot in life.  You know how people sometimes survive major catastrophes by finding a pocket of air?  I am talking about a rather mundane version of that kind of pocket.

Pockets occur when I can squeeze something in that feeds my soul.

I call them pockets because I first started using these little bits of time where I could fit something small and snug into a small, snug timeslot.  In retrospect, however, I have used life-size pockets lately too.  Here are some examples of pockets:

In a small pocket, I might do a grounding, clearing, heart meditation, or energy healing for someone.  Jumping jacks, stretches, breathing exercises also are examples.  But they also occur when the kids are content and my husband and I can sneak in a moment together.  They are opportunities for something vital and soul-nourishing that can squeeze into a shorter time slot.

I’ve also asked God to use my life as a sort of pocket.  For instance, when my youngest son came along, I was smack in the middle of an advanced homeopathy course that I enjoyed very much.  I only needed two more classes to graduate, but I decided that the family sacrifice was too great at that point for me to persist with the program.  I suspended my participation.

But then I asked God to teach me what I needed to know through life experience.  I learned a lot about remedy selection, dosing, potency, aggravations, and working with Spirit.  I learned as my family and I were treated homeopathically.  I also learned by helping people.  Family, friends … I was helping people frequently with issues ranging from the common cold to much more complicated concerns.  I learned from reading, from listening.

I do believe that I became the homeopath that I am in large part because of this detour in my education.  My structured education was very helpful, too, but much of what makes me a unique homeopath comes from the life-based learning and development of my spiritual gifts.

So, if you aren’t making use of pockets in your life at present, I highly recommend them!



  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 19, Know

Life can feel incredibly confusing at times, with choices abounding–these days possibly more than ever before in history.  Did you know that frequency of decision-making is associated with willpower fatigue?  That blew my mind.  No wonder by the end of the day we indulge–skip a workout, have a drink, grab some junk food.

I really enjoy a spontaneous schedule, but it is only enjoyable if we are going with the flow.  Peace comes from within!

It is one of the reasons to prioritize–it is like putting choices through a filter.

It also is one of the reasons to develop your intuition–decision-making becomes a snap.

But then you still are left to trust.

Friends have long wondered how I could make decisions so confidently–I figured it was because after I analyzed the choices, I made the best decision I could.  But one too many disappointments, one too many traumatic experiences finally left me in a state of fear.  I was questioned every decision and felt like I was constantly going in circles.  I was a mess!  It wasn’t just a spiral, it was a downward spiral!

So how did I climb my way out of that?

I made an appointment with my homeopath first.  The remedy he recommended for me pulled me out of a state of crisis.

I reduced external inputs of stress and fear [e.g. news, entertainment].

Then I made an appointment with an energy therapist.

I also started working with angels.  A lot.

Then something miraculous happened:  I began to see signs.  Lots of signs!  Signs that I was on the right path.  Signs that the choices I had made were indeed successful, even if the outcomes were not the ones I’d hoped or expected.

I had prayed frequently and fervently for that sense of knowing that I was on the right path, but until I was in [enough of] a state of calm and peace inside, I couldn’t recognize any signs on the outside.

So if you feel drained at the end of the day from all of the decisions you need to make, reduce the ones that you can, work on clearing your obstacles of fear, and develop your inner sense of knowing.


  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 14, Be Inspired

I gotta tell ya’, my daughter amazes me sometimes.  Well, actually, a lot.

Many people look at her, look at us, and see what isn’t.  Believe me, I do that my fair share too.  Isn’t feeding herself.  Isn’t walking independently.  Isn’t talking the way we do.

But I gotta tell ya’…that girl has gumption.

I mean, she started her life with two medical mistakes that each threatened her life but she left the hospital defying all odds [they guessed she’d have a permanent g-tube, for instance, but she was nursing full-time, the hardest method of feeding for a baby].  She literally was bucked from a horse — during therapy! — and got back on.  Not only that, but she stayed in-touch with the horse [she can see Spirit, angels, etc.] and let me know when the horse was having trouble digesting the food in its new home [by the time I told the therapists, the new owners had figured it out].

Still sandy but smiling after showering off.
Still sandy but smiling after showering off.

Recently, she was so excited to try her walker at the beach that she suddenly ran for it, from a smooth paved path.  She literally tipped face-first and ended up with circles of sand around and in both eyes, both nostrils, and her mouth.  [Sore shoulder too.]  A nearby shower came in handy, and she was cooperative through the whole thing.  Never cried, never complained.  Walked away in her walker, laughing about it and also grimacing at the grit of sand in her mouth!  [Luckily, I had my little homeopathic first aid kit handy for help with her shoulder.]

We often see other people’s burdens as a reason to feel grateful for what we have.

But I am suggesting that you to do more than that:  Be inspired by people who seem to have something less than you.

We all have our gifts–notice theirs, appreciate them, and be grateful that they share this planet with you.

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 13, Newsworthy

When my children were young, I avoided the news because it was too stressful for me.  I sequestered myself so thoroughly from current events that my mother and husband each made a point to let me know when nearby Mt. St. Helens was spewing smoke!

Then, a year or two ago, I started reading the news again.  It was tough for me. I decided to switch to the BBC news app so that I could get my news in brief–and even then, I had to shield myself far and wide before I checked the news.

But lately even the news headlines and those thumbnails deliver some dreadful images and horrendous news.  It’s rather unbearable for me.  I even awoke last night, worried about some of what is going on in the world.

So, how do I regain my footing when something like this happens?

It helps to start off with a good grounding.

The first thing I do is I pray for the people who are, have, or intend to commit wrongs against others.  I sometimes also ask that they are unburdened from any promises, perspectives, or experiences that tie them to their wrongdoing or intent to commit wrongs–in all direction sod time and for everyone involved.

Then I try the same for myself.

If that isn’t enough, I usually reach out to someone.  What helps me most is to connect with family.  It is especially helpful to hug my kids — they feel so safe and loved.  It is a good reminder, because most of all, I am worried about their safety and wellbeing.  It brings me back into the present moment, and I can feel to my core how safe they are.  By hugging them I also get back into that place of love and connection that keeps me steady in God’s light.  It’s grounding in and of itself–brings me present, centered, and in God’s light.

I also try to remind myself that we are all here fulfilling our purposes for God.  I know this:

Fear keeps us out of God’s light.

Staying on my path adds light.

Light beats darkness every time.


Sending out light and love, hoping we can spread it together ….

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 9, Your Life Purpose

Birthdate Chart for determining your 3 numbers — the last number is the one that contains info on your life purpose

All you need is your birthdate to know your life purpose?!

I heard an interesting radio show that led me to a book called, “Your Hidden Symmetry,” which I first borrowed from the library then purchased on iBooks [$9.99].  It’s also available at Amazon.

This book has been so helpful to me in the short time I’ve owned it.

If you have wondered about your purpose in life, this is a helpful book.If you are determined to fulfill your life purpose or frustrated because you cannot figure out your life purpose, this is an incredibly helpful book.  Even as a parent, this book was very helpful to me in knowing whether we had or how we could encourage our children along their life paths.

When you do lay your hands on the book, find your 3rd number and look it up in the relevant chapter.  That’s where you’ll see your life summed-up on 2-3 pages!

If you are nodding your head, nodding your head, and then completely befuddled by your actual life purpose, chances are that you really had no idea what your life purpose was.  This is a guiding light for you.

If you are reading about your 3rd number and nodding your head and then keep nodding your head, or opening your eyes wide and saying, “Oh, that’s why!” or other such responses to your experience and efforts being validated, chances are you already are on your path.

Either way, the information is extremely useful in my experience–but then again, fulfilling our life purposes is a really big deal to me.

And by the way, one’s life purpose can be achieved either in a career or outside of it.

Cover and the portion of the Table of Contents pertaining to Life Purpose
Cover and the portion of the Table of Contents pertaining to Life Purpose

There’s way more in the book, and all of it can help you figure out what your major challenges are and your strengths too.  Where you go in times of stress and some tools or alternatives that will be more helpful to you.  It can help you understand why everything has seemed so hard or why you start a lot of projects but finish a few. It can even help you understand the lessons that you are supposed to be learning so that you can embrace them quickly when they come along or recognize new opportunities to learn [hopefully through joy!].

As an example, I was just talking to someone whose 3rd number indicates that her life purpose is around appreciating and teaching others how to appreciate beauty and, specifically, the beauty of the moment.  At the moment, she is going through a major transition in her life and has felt that the lesson was all about trust.  But what if it is about staying in the moment?  I bet that would make it easier for her to do and learn, and it would push her further along her life path.  When I offered this to her, she felt that it brought greater clarity and can now stay more clearly in that centered place of trust and presence.  How beautiful is that?!  [And the ripple effect, in circles of light, will mean that more people will learn from her about staying in the present moment.]

Beginning summary of my life purpose.
Beginning summary of my life purpose.

Knowing your purpose helps you to keep this priority in mind, to recognize opportunities when you see them, and in my case, to feel more sure of the steps that I want to take.  For instance, people often tell me that I should write a book, a sort of memoir.  But I have few external credentials for being an author and think of memoirs as being of interest only for celebrities.  When I read that my life purpose is to release the wisdom in my bones, the wisdom of the ancestors that has been passed down, I felt more certain that I do have something to offer even without external credentials.

Ironically, my father has the same third number, as does my daughter and a friend of mine.  It manifests a bit differently in each of us, but it is interesting now to see, “Oh, that’s why we have these resonances.”

Looking at the life purpose of my eldest son has been very helpful, because his purpose is to change the world.  I gotta tell you, it isn’t easy raising a kid whose destiny is to change the world!  But we have tried very hard to support who he is, his interests, and to trust his path.  This book was an incredible validation for him and for us that his profound frustrations with “what is” are the basis for an incredible ability to help humanity.  But it also is a validation for the guidance that we have felt our son needed, informed perhaps a little more now.

For one more person who has been very successful in his career but also felt very lost in terms of knowing  his calling, his life purpose, this book was a big eye-opener.  The other descriptions were so exactly right, it was remarkable.  Then we get to the life purpose section of the 3rd number and see that some of it resonates but it is actually quite distant from his actual work.  We can see hints of relevant interests, career desires, etc., but he is so far from

So I do hope that you will find it at your local library, borrow it, get a copy for yourself, or maybe call in to that radio show for a live reading.

I’d love to hear your stories, too!  Meanwhile, enjoy!

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 7, Forget Forgiving

Forgiving is a beautiful choice when you can make it, but I think that we have a lot of baggage associated with the word, the concept, and the action.  There are so many definitions of what it means to forgive–and what it does not mean to forgive.  I just barely use the word any more.

So, when I feel wronged now–and I’ve thrown my fair share of pity parties!–this is pretty much how I handle it:

I often shield myself if I still feel vulnerable.  Otherwise, I simply remind myself of my connection to God.  [Using the Protect & Ground method described on this post.]

I sometimes follow this with various ideas of why the person might have acted that way, trying to accept that a person simply may not have the resources to have behaved better.  I also look at my responsibility in the matter and what I could have done differently.

So, for instance, yesterday a child pointed at my daughter and laughed, nudging her friends to join in.  Is this because my daughter has wronged her by having difficulty with walking and moving her body?  No, most likely it is because the girl has seen or experienced being teased for being different.  In a certain way, mocking others is a protection for her.

Here’s another example.  I write an email to someone and don’t hear back.  Is it because I’ve offended her or because she simply didn’t have the time/thoughts/space to respond?

Oprah opened my eyes to this, actually.  She was talking about a scenario like this with Sarah Ferguson–that Ms. Ferguson assumed a non-response meant she’d done something wrong.  But Oprah said, “It’s not always about you!”  I found that shocking and offensive until Oprah explained that sometimes there are other things going on in a person’s life that interfere with or interrupt what otherwise might occur in a relationship.  Good point!  It isn’t always about me [or you]!

Then I pray for the other.  The first time that I undertook this, it was really hard!  Someone had been deeply hurtful to us for many years.  We committed to a daily prayer for one month for her, and we could hardly think of anything to say.  I literally posted on a Facebook page asking for help.  Someone–a stranger–suggested that we pray that the person be lifted up out of fear.  That made sense, that fear is basically the basis of harmful choices [including the overdose given to my daughter, BTW!].  So we started there — that the person be lifted up out of fear and eventually added that she would be able to open her heart.

My go-to prayer, then, is something like this, “God, please lift this person up out of fear and open her heart so that she might fully know the joy and love of Your presence in her life.”

Finally, sometimes we need this prayer for ourselves!

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 4, Reset

Years ago, I realized that when I said that I didn’t have time to do something, I was creating a false reality.  There is time, it is just a matter of priorities.  Do I watch TV or do ___?  Do I do the dishes or ____?  Do I spend time with the kids of ___?  Do I sleep or ____?  Shower or ____?  Eat or ____?  Cook or ____?  Hang-out on Facebook or ___?

There are time-sucks in our lives, indulgences, vices, and worst of all, distractions from our real work here.

It is the latter in which I am most interested, mainly because I have the rest mostly under control.  But this trick likely would work in some form or another for other ineffectual uses of time.  And I feel that time is really the most precious resource we have, because we need health for more and better time, time for family connection, time to fulfill our life purpose.  In a lot of ways, it all comes down to time.

So think about what it is that you want to do with your life right now that you are not doing.  Do you want to exercise?  Reduce consumption of unhealthy foods and drinks?  Spend more time with family?  Say ‘thank you’ more often?  Volunteer?  Pray?

Write down at least the top 3 things that you most want to do in your life.  I like to put them on a sticky note then take a photo of them.

Then consider what it is that you do that keeps you from doing something more beneficial with your time.

Where and when do you do it?  Why do you do it?

And I am not saying that all time has to be used with what we consider ‘honorable’ pursuits.  I think that well-chosen games, television, movies, reading, sitting with a cup of tea can all be very good uses of time.  So look at the time you use where you feel, at the end, like you are no better afterwards for having done it than you were beforehand.

You can say a prayer about it, asking for help using your time more purposefully.  You can ask for help with removing any fears you have about using your time more purposefully [sometimes we are afraid of failing at the thing we really want to do, for instance, so we occupy our time with other activities and tasks instead].  Or sometimes we do a lot of reading and listening but not a lot of putting into action.  So acknowledge to yourself, then ask for help if it resonates, and when you are ready, take some action.

You can take steps to reduce the likelihood of engaging in the distraction — take the distracting game off of your phone or computer.  Put the book someplace where you can read it but then put it down and put what you read to good use.  Or put in place the items that would help you do what you most want to do — thank-you cards where you normally distract yourself with something else, an exercise regimen at the kitchen island, a journal by your bedside.

Or the Top 3  sticky note can easily be duplicated and put in the places where you are most likely to drain your time.  You can take a photo of the sticky note and put it on your lock screen or computer screensaver.  Use it as a reminder that there are things you want to accomplish in your life, in your time here, in this moment right now.  Remember that anything you want to accomplish has a component that can be done in a short space of time.  Even exercise can be done in short spurts at home [there are programs out there for that!].  The next time you choose, you will be able to choose more consciously.

Ummm … now I’ve gotta go find a sticky note!

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Angel Hug

Yesterday, I was feeling down.  Hoping that even though I couldn’t change the circumstance, I could change my feelings about it, I started first by asking my Guardian Angel for a hug.

Yes, a hug.

And yes, I really did.

Better yet, I got one.

But you know how we sometimes melt and start bawling when someone gives us a hug at a time when we are holding it all together but feeling really upset?  It was such a comforting hug from my Guardian Angel, I thought the waterworks might start.  But instead, I felt calm and bolstered.  I was surprised but glad.

Then my Guardian Angel shared a message with me:  …and in all things, give …

Being connected to a man of the cloth [my dad is a retired educational missionary, pastor, and professor of world religions], I asked him for context.  While a Google search had yielded a passage in Thessalonians, my father immediately thought of this passage from Philippians.

Philippians 4:4-7

King James Version (KJV)

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

The verse from Thessalonians was apropos too:

1 Thessalonians 5:18

King James Version (KJV)

18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

And my search also led me to this video, also very much relevant to my feelings of yesterday:

And it all comes down to this: when in doubt, give thanks.  Or just give.


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Let’s Make Lemonade

Friday night I attended a very special event–the Innocence Network‘s dinner for exonerees.

It is the most incredible experience, seeing person after person who has lived through such a horrifying experience walk up onto stage.  It’s phenomenal to see them up there, supporting each other, celebrating each other, celebrating freedom.

It is a reminder to hold precious every whiff of fresh air, every moment with your family.  One exoneree said that he just wanted to hold his pets and some of his stuff.  Some exonerees had been in prison for 29, 30 years, proclaiming their innocence the whole time, holding the faith, staying strong.  Wives, mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles … they all held strong, too.

It is a testimony to the human spirit, oh my goodness.  We go through a lot of hard things.  Everybody has their stuff; what has happened to the wrongly convicted is unimaginable and yet most of us can relate to it somehow.  Many difficulties in the human experience can seem unjust.

But can we talk about lemonade stands?

I mean, a lot of exonerees make some serious lemonade out of their lemons.  Darryl Hunt.  Are you kidding me?!  I have so much to learn from you, Darryl.  Darryl went back to the city where he was wrongly convicted twice–the second time, even with DNA evidence proving his innocence!  But Darryl went back to live there when he was released from prison.  He stands in his power.  He stands in his power.  He is a calm, grounded, living reminder of what can go awry in the justice system and what needs to be done to correct it.  But he owns his innocence, and he owns his experience.  He speaks it, he preaches it.  He is one impressive human being.

Let’s talk about all of the attorneys and citizens who devote hours, days, weeks, lives to freeing people who are wrongly convicted.  When all of the exonerees were on the stage, the ballroom was still half-full of cheering, whistling, clapping, hollerin’ folk–the folk who worked their buns off for years to free their clients, brothers, sisters, husbands, sons.  Talk about service.  And then many of them take what they learned from the experience and use it to free others who are innocent of the crimes for which they were convicted.

One exoneree, at the end of their time on stage, took the mic to say thanks to those who had fought for their release.  He reminded us that Martin Luther King, Jr. had said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”  I would argue that that ballroom was full of people who luminesced during times of challenge and controversy–the exonerees who maintained their innocence in the face of pressure to confess, who read law books and found lawyers, who stood tall and strong in the face of adversity … and those on the outside who chose to fight hard and long to regain them their freedom.

It’s not easy, what they’ve been through.  They’ve missed births, deaths.  One exoneree was convicted of killing his own wife and children, and he was imprisoned during their funerals.  Can you imagine?  All the while, proclaiming his innocence.  Another had met the love of his life just months before his wrongful arrest [then conviction].  She gave birth to their child, raised their child plus the two children from his previous relationship, and wed him while he was in prison.  Many years later, she found the Innocence Project and eventually he was freed from prison.

A court clerk proved to be the hero in one exoneree’s release:  She helped the family figure out exactly how to file for DNA testing after a judge had twice denied their request.  [She found a case where the motion had been successful, copied it, and blacked out the names.]  I weep, thinking of how simple and profound a contribution she made in her job that day.  She took this request seriously, and she changed lives that day.  She changed the lives of the people involved in the case, but now her story is out there, and that changes lives, too.  It gives courage and opens possibilities. Ripples in Lemonade Lake.

At the event, I was asked why I started the Duke Law Innocence Project way back in … was it 1999?  I don’t know what I was thinking.  Well, truth be told, I was not thinking.  I was feeling.  You know when something has to be done, and you just do it, like breathing or waking up or telling the truth.

And the truth is this [thank you, Spirit]:  We all make mistakes, we all have our stuff, we all need help, and we all have something to offer.  God help us, fill us with love; unburden us and free us to do our work in our time here in these bodies.

We are walking, living reminders of the love that created us, the love that surrounds us, and the love that dwells in us.  It’s just a beautiful thing when we shed a little bit of that love on our fellow breathers.

On a personal note, I am so grateful to Theresa Newman, who invited me to join her for this event so that I could see the fruits of my early labor–you treated me like an honored guest and got me out of the house and into some heels on a Friday night [no small task].  Thank you for remembering me, for your generosity and fortitude, and for the work you do every single day.  You and Jim took that spark of hope and made it into a full-time clinic, a life-changing experience not only for the people you exonerate but for the attorneys you graduate, from those who work full-time to exonerate the innocent to those who go on to corporate jobs but take pro bono cases to help exonerate the innocent.  Even just increasing awareness of the types of situations that might result in a wrongful conviction.  From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul, thank you, thank you, thank you.