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“No” Is The New “Please”

Do you remember that magic word–the one which, if uttered at the correct moment would turn an empty hand into a delighted you?  The one required at times to turn an empty stomach into a contented belly, a stern look into a pleased smile?

Behold the power of the “magic word.”

When I was growing up, the magic word was “please.”  But today, as adult responsibilities, moral responsibilities, ethical realities, human commitments, earthly desires, and input opportunities [think phone, TV, etc.] flood our lives, I’m thinking the new magic word is “no.”

Not that “No, thank you” wasn’t part of the etiquette teachings of my day.  It’s just that “Yes please” was more magical, more rewarding.

Now, I’m thinking that knowing our limits, grasping our discernible boundaries, happily stating a claim to our territory … I’m thinking these are ultimately equally rewarding.  It’s another way of saying, “Yes, please” to you.

And not only in adults.

What if our children intuitively knew how to enforce their boundaries?

What would all of our lives be like, what would our world be, if we valued the no as much as the yes?

Start with yourself, knowing who you are and what helps you thrive.  Then expand, expand, expand your circles.  Send out ripples of knowing, appreciating, respecting.

It’s what the world wants, it’s what the world needs … and it all starts right now within you.

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Diagnosis or Label: Must it be a choice?

You may know that I have selected, with my husband, to eschew diagnoses and labels–for the most part.

Sometimes, labels are helpful because they are succinct means of conveying a lot of information.  Sometimes that is exactly what we are trying to avoid when we don’t use them–a sense of individuality, of possibility.

On the other hand, a diagnosis is a tool.  It is a means of getting a picture of what you’re up against, what can be done about it, who might be in the same boat as you, how to find the best doctors and treatments to help you, how it might affect your family …

But you can see how that can be for the better or for the worse:  If the information feels limiting, it is.  You will need to reframe how you receive information and what you do with it once you have it.

So, for instance, you can ground and shield before you engage in information-gathering.  Ask that only helpful information reaches your heart and all else is discarded without effect.  If detrimental information reaches you unawares, ask that only that which serves your highest needs remains and all else is removed swiftly and completely.

Additionally, it can be helpful to remind oneself most assuredly that a diagnosis is a framework for understanding and optimizing your life in and through this situation.

It is an opportunity to discover relevant coping techniques, perhaps, while pursuing any healing that helps you reach your highest potential in life.

Moreover, a diagnosis is between you, God, and your doctors–your healers.  Make a conscious choice about how you present your afflictions so that you proclaim only what you know is true for you.

I find it handy to come up with an answer for questions, and for that I tend to stick with biological information:  “Her brain has trouble telling her arms and legs what she wants them to do,” is one example.

Most important is how you speak to yourself about it.  Chin-up, forward-moving self-talk will help you more than the contrary.

If, for instance, you were diagnosed with arthritis, you could write and speak and think and even feel about it in a variety of ways:

I have arthritis.
I am arthritic.
I am struggling with arthritis.
I suffer from arthritis.  [Oh, please don’t!]
I am afflicted with arthritis.

So how might you reframe this to honor your experience but also leave open the opportunity to heal?

Try this on for size:

Arthritis is a temporary part of my life which has given me the opportunity to learn, seek, and heal the deepest parts of myself and my heritage that has always been crying out for help.  I am listening now, and I am actively resolving anything and everything I am guided to heal.

Love heals anything and everything, so bring love to your language for everything, including all your pains and even your yearnings.

Thank you for showing me.

Another opportunity has arrived–pursue it wisely!

DISCLAIMER:  THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY

  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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A Good Remedy for Thick Mucous + How to Use Homeopathic Combinations and Syrups

There’s a flu going around just now that responds to Oscillococcinum initially–also if you take a microdose [just a few granules] after exposure and before onset, you can stave it off completely–and then moves into a congestion stage with frontal sinus pain, post-nasal drip, and/or cough.

I’m a fan of Kali Iodatum for a lot of these thick mucous – cough situations.  It is not in the homeopathic literature with that kind of description, exactly.  Boiron says it’s for colds with frontal sinus pain.  Similisan has it in a mucus syrup for cold, fever, sneezing, runny nose, and head congestion.

But I actually find it helpful in situations where one might consider Kali Bichromicum but Kali Bich does not help or where one is more mucous than that.  In a lot of ways, it is actually my go-to for a mucous cough.

Combinations:  Useful, and Here’s a Trick:

Similisan's Mucous Syrup Active Ingredients List + Kali Iodatum in 30c and 200c.
Similisan’s Mucous Syrup Active Ingredients List + Kali Iodatum in 30c and 200c.

I discovered Kali Iodatum on account of success using Similisan’s mucous syrup for my daughter.

One thing I used to do early on in my homeopathic usage days was that if a commercially available combination worked [such as in this syrup], I would check the back of the box/bottle.  There, you’ll find a list of the homeopathic remedies contained in therein, as well as the symptoms for which they are included.  I’d pick the remedy that I thought most closely matched the symptoms for which I was using the product, and then I would buy that remedy in potency.

Often, combination homeopathic products contain low potencies — often X potencies and sometimes low C potencies.  So if a combination homeopathic product is helping but not enough or for less than two hours between doses, consider selecting the best-matching remedy from their ingredients list and purchasing that one in potency [e.g., as 30c from your local healthful store or 200c from some specialty pharmacies, like Hahnemann Labs].  You might recall that’s my ‘ping’ method:  If a remedy works a little bit but not enough, chances are that you need a higher potency.  If it helps sufficiently but you need to re-dose in less than 2 hours, it’s also often a sign that you would benefit from the next-higher potency, if you have it.

A Couple of Stories:

My dad recently caught the flu from someone sitting behind him on a 4-hour flight.  The poor fellow was hacking and coughing miserably the entire time, and by the time my dad returned home a few days later, he was sinking quickly.  Had he taken Oscillococcinum or other immune boosters right then and there, he might’ve been fine.  But anyway, he took Oscillococcinum for a couple of days until the aching and fatigue and fog lifted.

Then the nasal stuff set-in.  He used a combination of what he had–Kali Bichromicum 30c and Similisan Mucous Syrup–in water for a couple of days, which eased his cough to the point where he considered it a simple trail-end of a cough and helped him sleep at night.  [In particular, the Kali Bich seemed to reduce the kind of prolonged coughing sessions, but the Similisan syrup helped him sleep at night.  So we combined them in 8 oz. of water for dosing day and night, if needed.]

Though my father felt that there was no more help to be had, I was thinking that he should continue pursuing healing from this, and here’s why:

–The guy on the plane was miserable, so it sounded to me like one tough virus.

–I had heard that people using conventional approaches were suffering a flu that was followed by 3-4 weeks of a miserable cough.

–It is much easier to maintain a healing momentum, to nip something, than it is after the vital force has been made dreary by weeks of fighting the virus.

So, when I saw my father, I gave him one dose of Kali Iodatum 30c and one dose of Kali Iodatum 200c.  He putt he 30c in water and felt only a little benefit.  So he put the 200c in water, and he was finally cough-free for 12 hours.  But he still was a little gunky, so occasional dosing was still required.

Tip:  One of the mistakes that we tend to make with homeopathy is dosing too seldom and for too short a duration.  Make sure that you really stay tuned-in to how you are responding to a remedy, and stay on-top of your dosing.  Don’t quit too soon, either!

One more story that also relates to combinations… My neighbor’s little one was suffering from colic.  She had tried everything and now was considering just about anything.  I said I’d put together a remedy for her, and I intuitively chose Carbo Veg 200c.  Meanwhile, she was headed to the store where she picked up Cocyntal, a Boiron homeopathic combination for colic.  She had to give him doses every few hours, but she was amazed at how well he responded to it and that he was able to sleep so easily, etc.  Ironically, it has Carbo Vegetabilis in it!  So, when she gave him the Carbo Veg 200c the next day, he only needed one dose and that was the end of his colic!

Sidenotes:  I read an interesting article in Homeopathy Today about the use of Polarity Analysis in cases of infant colic.  The author stated that typically one dose of the correct remedy in 200c is sufficient to put an end to the colic.  Although Carbo Vegetables is not an oft-cited remedy for colic, it is remarkable that Boiron selected it for inclusion in their colic combination.

Interestingly, Carbo Vegetabilis is made from vegetable charcoal and the “homeopathic corpse reviver.”  In my reading on the matter I discovered that infants who were blue or flat-lined or lacking that initial first breath and then develop colic often benefit from Carbo Vegetabilis.  My neighbor did not know for sure if her son fit that profile, but her labor and delivery were complicated and ended with a difficult forceps delivery.  I thought how beautiful of homeopathy and Spirit to know that and help this baby heal from that experience and its ramifications.

Unrelated Tip:  If life is rough and you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, or like you are not worthy, or you do not have enough, give.  Do something for someone else in whatever way feeds your soul.

 

DISCLAIMER:  THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY

  • The information on this site is posted for educational purposes only, and not intended to constitute medical advice. As with any important medical matter, you are advised to consult an experienced health care provider concerning your specific health concerns.
  • No doctor-patient relationship is intended, implied or created by the posting or viewing of information on this site; nor is a doctor-patient relationship created by the submission or exchange of questions or information via email or otherwise with Pamela Lialias.
  • Readers are responsible for their use of information provided on this blog or linked to from this site. Pamela Lialias assumes no liability for the same.
  • Pamela Lialias has made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy of information on this blog site, but absolute accuracy is not guaranteed.
  • Always check with your health care provider.
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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 21, Gifts

Imagine how it would feel if God presented you with a gift.  All aglow in His pure love, it would feel so special to receive from Him.

Really special.  Oh, my.

It’s a mini birthday season in my family, so there is a little talk about gifts.  We also have been talking a lot about Our Gifts, the special talents we each have and those that we share.  And then there’s also been talk about being responsible to care for our belongings like we would be for someone else’s.

It all got me thinking about the sacred gifts that God gives us.  Even our bodies are sacred gifts directly from God.  Imagine God handing it to you as a sacred gift.  I don’t know about you, but that resonated deeply with me.  How would I treat a sacred gift from God?  Would I dump on it and treat it as replaceable?  I most certainly would not!  I would hold it precious, nurture it, treat it as special.

So the next time we ate out, I suggested we not indulge in special drinks.  And that felt good, to respect this sacred gift we received directly from God.

I hope that my respect grows and deepens, until I can see and feel deeply that every breath, every moment truly is a gift from above.

 

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 14, Be Inspired

I gotta tell ya’, my daughter amazes me sometimes.  Well, actually, a lot.

Many people look at her, look at us, and see what isn’t.  Believe me, I do that my fair share too.  Isn’t feeding herself.  Isn’t walking independently.  Isn’t talking the way we do.

But I gotta tell ya’…that girl has gumption.

I mean, she started her life with two medical mistakes that each threatened her life but she left the hospital defying all odds [they guessed she’d have a permanent g-tube, for instance, but she was nursing full-time, the hardest method of feeding for a baby].  She literally was bucked from a horse — during therapy! — and got back on.  Not only that, but she stayed in-touch with the horse [she can see Spirit, angels, etc.] and let me know when the horse was having trouble digesting the food in its new home [by the time I told the therapists, the new owners had figured it out].

Still sandy but smiling after showering off.
Still sandy but smiling after showering off.

Recently, she was so excited to try her walker at the beach that she suddenly ran for it, from a smooth paved path.  She literally tipped face-first and ended up with circles of sand around and in both eyes, both nostrils, and her mouth.  [Sore shoulder too.]  A nearby shower came in handy, and she was cooperative through the whole thing.  Never cried, never complained.  Walked away in her walker, laughing about it and also grimacing at the grit of sand in her mouth!  [Luckily, I had my little homeopathic first aid kit handy for help with her shoulder.]

We often see other people’s burdens as a reason to feel grateful for what we have.

But I am suggesting that you to do more than that:  Be inspired by people who seem to have something less than you.

We all have our gifts–notice theirs, appreciate them, and be grateful that they share this planet with you.

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 10, Spread the Love

I’m a big fan of expressing gratitude — thank you notes, texts, emails.  This idea is one I want to do but haven’t done yet.  The basic idea comes from Shawn Achor.  During his interview with Oprah, he mentioned a couple of simple happiness practices that imprMahaloove overall happiness if practiced daily for at least 21 days.  One of those is writing a one-line thank-you each day.

I do want to do that!

But today, what I am suggesting is a version of that:

Write one thank-you note to someone who helped you and to whom you have not expressed either your appreciation, the full extent of your appreciation, or the extent of their positive impact on your life.

Write one more thank-you note to someone who initially affected you negatively but whose actions ultimately were beneficial to you.  You turned lemons into lemonade.  You learned a lesson the hard way.  Whatever it may be.

You needn’t send either note, of course, I only suggest that you write it.  Then ‘send’ it off however you wish–with a prayer, a little fire.

But most of all, just hold it and enjoy it in your heart.  Acknowledge it, and know that you have, can, and will do the same for someone else.

 

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 7, Forget Forgiving

Forgiving is a beautiful choice when you can make it, but I think that we have a lot of baggage associated with the word, the concept, and the action.  There are so many definitions of what it means to forgive–and what it does not mean to forgive.  I just barely use the word any more.

So, when I feel wronged now–and I’ve thrown my fair share of pity parties!–this is pretty much how I handle it:

I often shield myself if I still feel vulnerable.  Otherwise, I simply remind myself of my connection to God.  [Using the Protect & Ground method described on this post.]

I sometimes follow this with various ideas of why the person might have acted that way, trying to accept that a person simply may not have the resources to have behaved better.  I also look at my responsibility in the matter and what I could have done differently.

So, for instance, yesterday a child pointed at my daughter and laughed, nudging her friends to join in.  Is this because my daughter has wronged her by having difficulty with walking and moving her body?  No, most likely it is because the girl has seen or experienced being teased for being different.  In a certain way, mocking others is a protection for her.

Here’s another example.  I write an email to someone and don’t hear back.  Is it because I’ve offended her or because she simply didn’t have the time/thoughts/space to respond?

Oprah opened my eyes to this, actually.  She was talking about a scenario like this with Sarah Ferguson–that Ms. Ferguson assumed a non-response meant she’d done something wrong.  But Oprah said, “It’s not always about you!”  I found that shocking and offensive until Oprah explained that sometimes there are other things going on in a person’s life that interfere with or interrupt what otherwise might occur in a relationship.  Good point!  It isn’t always about me [or you]!

Then I pray for the other.  The first time that I undertook this, it was really hard!  Someone had been deeply hurtful to us for many years.  We committed to a daily prayer for one month for her, and we could hardly think of anything to say.  I literally posted on a Facebook page asking for help.  Someone–a stranger–suggested that we pray that the person be lifted up out of fear.  That made sense, that fear is basically the basis of harmful choices [including the overdose given to my daughter, BTW!].  So we started there — that the person be lifted up out of fear and eventually added that she would be able to open her heart.

My go-to prayer, then, is something like this, “God, please lift this person up out of fear and open her heart so that she might fully know the joy and love of Your presence in her life.”

Finally, sometimes we need this prayer for ourselves!

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 5, Rainbows and Dragonflies

If you are into personal growth like I am, and I suspect that you are if you are reading this, you might have fallen into the dreaded Forward Trap.  I tend to look so much at what I want yet to accomplish, what I haven’t yet mastered, that everything I have done quickly becomes water under the bridge.  My set point rises each time I accomplish something and that becomes my new neutral.  I think it’s also known as [or at least related to] perfectionism.

So my suggestion today is to stop and look backward.

Look at the difficulties that you have overcome.

Look at the stuff people said you could never do that you did do.

Look at the where’s, the when’s, the how’s and celebrate them.

Celebrate you and let someone know about it.  Proclaim it, stand strong not just in who you are but in how far you have come on your path.  You’ve seen your path lit brightly before you.  Now look back and see how you found paths of light time and again.

Now you are and can be a beacon of light for others who are being told right now that what they want is impossible — healing, success, a change of circumstances, a change of heart.  Know that it was possible for you and you chose to make it happen, even to let it happen.  And know that it is possible for others who might find your beacon light and be inspired in their own ways for their own lives.

You are the rainbow and the dragonfly.  You are the special treat God gave to the world.

Be it, know it, shine it.

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21 Days of Fantastic: Day 1, Go Deep

I’ve picked up and found helpful a variety of little practices.  I’m going to share a bunch of them with you in the next 21 days.  They’re short, easy, and can yield profound results.  Try them and see which ones slip right into your life for a little more fantastic.

I’m such a big fan of gratitude, I’m gonna start there.

Try going deep with your gratitude.  [Here’s a hint:  It always goes back to God.]

Pick one thing — your spouse, drinking water, anything.  

Start at the surface:  I am so grateful to have water to drink.

Then go a bit deeper:  I am also grateful that my water is safe to drink.

Keep going:

I am so grateful to have water that is both safe and nourishing to drink.

I’m so grateful it is so easy for me to get safe, nourishing water to drink.

Wow, I am so grateful someone put safe pipes in this house.  Thank you for the people who built this house and kept my future safety and ease in mind.  Thank you for their hard work on my behalf .  Please bless their joy and health and safety.

Thank you also for the people who ensure that I have safe drinking water every day.  Thank you for the people who staff and tend the water supply and those who staff and tend the reservoirs.  Thank you for the people in positions of governmental authority who make decisions on my behalf that keep my drinking water safe and nourishing.

Thank you for the rain and snow that supplies the reservoirs with water.  Thank you for those who access the water in the reservoirs safely so that I might have safe water to drink and nourish my body.

Thank you for clean water and snow falling from the skies so that I might nourish my body with clean and safe water.

Thank you for the cycle of water, such that the clouds carry and release rain and snow.  Thank you also for the natural filtration systems that cleanse water not just for me but for all of Creation.

Thank you for the almighty Creator, who created a system so Divine and wonderful, that nature might make and cleanse water for us to drink.  Thank you for the nourishment we all gain from the gift of water–the gifts of body, mind, and spirit.

Thank you for the Divine Love with which all of us were created and made in His own image.  Thank you for the perfection that is life, the ease with which we can drink safely and happily from the cup of life.

Thank you,

thank you,

thank you.

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Gentle Reminders App

 

 

Looking for something else, I ran across the Mindful Moon app some months ago.  I am really enjoying it.  A few times a day, a little chime sounds and a gentle reminder pops onto my iPhone lock screen … Or you can hop into the app for a nudging quote.

MindfulMoon

The reminders range from a suggestion to stretch or take a deep breath to quotes and adages intended to inspire us to live our best lives.

They aren’t too long, too deep, or too hard.  So they squeeze into life easily — or wait until I’m ready for them.

Enjoy!